Talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen for his farmer. He comes back and says ‘All 40 accounted for.’ Farmer says, ‘I’ve only got 36!’ Sheepdog replies, ‘I know, but I rounded them up.’
A father who is very much concerned about his son’s bad grades in maths decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He’s getting “A”s in math.
The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: “Why are your math grades suddenly so good?”
“You know”, the son explains, “when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!”
Surgeon: Nurse! I have so many patients! Who do I work on first?
Nurse: Simple. Use the order of operations.
2 4 6 8 = 84
3 5 7 9 = 128
8 6 4 2 = 84
9 7 5 3 = 128
2 3 8 9 = ?
Q: Who invented algebra?
A: A Clever X-pert.
Q: How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?
A: By completing the scare.
Q: How does a mathematician induce good behaviour in her children?
A: `If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…’